There’s something about making a phone call that makes me want to pee my pants. I can’t help it, phone calls frighten me. If I had known that become an adult meant calling to reschedule my own doctor appointments, I would happily remain as a child for the rest of my life.
Seriously, every time I have to make a call I pray for it to go to voicemail. That way I can just leave a message and there’s no actual person-to-person communication. Whenever I learn that I can do something online it makes my day because that’s one less awkward conversation that I need to have.
It’s not like I don’t like talking to people, or anything of that matter. It’s just that I get so stressed out about what I’m going to say, and how I’m going to say it and if the person on the other line thinks that I’m rude or something. So before I answer the phone I give myself a pep talk and try to not faint.
This is especially true whenever I make calls and I’m put on hold. I use that time to think of every possible conversation variant so that I can have something to say, just in case we go off topic for whatever reason. As I am waiting, I also have to fight the urge to just hang up and crawl under my sheets.
Today my phone went off in class and I was really confused because 1. I thought I had my phone on silence and 2. I couldn’t think of anyone who would want to call me at the moment. It wasn’t a big deal until I couldn’t find my phone from the inside of my backpack. You know that panic you get when you think you’ve lost your phone? That was me, except add a classroom of people looking at you and the fact that I sit in the first couple of rows and ta-da you have my awkward moment for the day. Once I looked up from silencing my phone, I could see my professor looking at me, and I felt a little shame because I had interrupted the class.
But that’s okay because I didn’t have to answer the call! And that’s a win in my book. Sadly, there are about 5 billion phone calls that I need to make today, so hopefully I survive!