It’s hard to think that the next couple of months will be the some of the most important months of my life. Even though I’ve been in college for two years, it feels like I’m still in high school and the future is a distant thing that is nice to think about but doesn’t really have must grasp on my current being. The truth is that the future is breathing down my neck and is slightly (okay extremely) stressing me out.
Yesterday was a really busy day for me, even though I don’t have Friday classes, I didn’t sleep in because I needed to study, and I had an advising appointment. It went pretty well, and I got excited for my prospects for pharmacy school based on my GPA. In my meeting I was told that there was a Health Professions Fair and that advisers and recruiters from medical schools and pharmacy schools would be there. Obviously I had to go, so right after my committee meeting, I headed back to my hall to change into business casual clothing and to meet the people that would determine the rest of my life.
Once I got to Health Professions Fair, I was so excited. I made a b-line to my number one school and I got to have a great conversation with them. I asked what made a student stand out in the sea of overly qualified students and how to be a competitive applicant. The more information I got, the more excited and worried I became. I thought of all the possibilities, of the chance that I would have to positively change people’s lives and the happiness that it would be. Then I thought of the road that I have to take to get to where I wanted to be and got a little discouraged.
I may or may not have had a brief existential crisis and questioned all of my life choices.
The hardest part to me, is that not only do I have to worry about the future, and prepare for that, I also need to focus on the present. If I’m failing my classes now, there’s no way to get where I need to be, but also if I don’t have my next step planned, then I can’t progress.
Nonetheless, I am determined to get to pharmacy school. I don’t have a Plan B, it’s all or nothing, my eggs are all in this one basket. My desire to make a change cannot be deterred by the obstacles in front of me. My faith is greater than my fear, and even though I know that the path will be hard and that there will be thousands of places where I can fail, there will be equally as many places where I can succeed.